Day 140: Missing in action

So the month of May proved to be a complete and total slack off on my part. I knew I was headed for failure even before my last post. Its been almost 3 weeks since I posted. After a while, I just decided to to consider myself of hiatus until after my birthday. Now, I am 28 and I know I need to get things in check. Somewhere along the lines of things though, my drive left. I still have the internal desire and want but the outward drive is missing in action. I am turning out to be all talk and no walk. Literally. I worked out like 3 times in May. And for the next 2 weeks I won't be able to make an appearance at Curves. I am doing the "single" mom thing for the next couple of weeks while the husby is out of town. So not only that, but throw in the fact that we live hours away from practically everyone we know---means not a spare moment to myself. No workouts, nothing. Unless I incorporate my daughter, and our new pupster. I am thinking long walks should do the trick! But I am slowly hoping signing up for Curves doesn't lead to a waste of money.

I am looking for ways to light the fire again. The one I had in January, in that hotel room, away from everyone I knew. So, I went to the grocery store today and got only healthy items. And I refuse to buy lunches at work. That has been a big diet fail as well as putting a big dent in my wallet.

I am setting up a few mini goals. This might reignite the flame. I plan on blogging every other night. Which is a lot more than I have been, right?! I am going to continue to focus on eating right, and try to take daily walks with Bella and Shelby.  I recently discovered I like Oatmeal. (Thanks to the McD's Fruit and Maple Oatmeal) and I like unsweet tea. No sweetener or anything. I am gonna eat Oatmeal in the morning with either my coffee or a smoothie (depending on my time frame). I will pack a lunch, and make a small sensible dinner. I have some fruit and 100 cal packs to do for snacks. I will drink mainly unsweet tea and water.  These are my mini goals to kick start my motivation. My next mid-range goal is to stay strong thru October. My husby's 10 year high school reunion is in October and I want to feel confident when we go. (And if my c/o 2001 would ever get the ball rolling, maybe we'd have our own 10 year to go too....but I digress.) So those are my mini and mid sized goals.

I know what I have to do, now its just doing it. I have been keeping up with BL season 11's participants via Twitter and Facebook (Mainly Oliva, Hannah, Irene, and Courtney!) And still, even though the show is over, these ladies move me. Courtney said something on the finale that hit home. In order to lose weight, I have to make the decision and never look back. Which is hard. But once she did it, she lost over 100lbs before stepping foot on the ranch! That's determination.

I need that determination. I still desire to lose another 50-70lbs if I am being 100% honest. I need to remember that and keep moving forward. No looking back. No stalling in the now. But pushing and moving in one direction.

I plan on watching a few of the new weight loss shows to see how they go. Like the Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition, and any other inspiring fitness journey shows.

Here we go again fellow bloggers!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 121: Ziggazigggahhhh

"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.” - Zig Ziglar :)

So, a friend put this quote on FB and it was perfect for me. I just finished watching my tear jerker of the week (Biggest Loser) and of course I am blubbering! To think of the transformation these contestants made in 20 weeks. And I mean more than just on the outside...but inside as well. And it all started with them deciding to change. They needed constant motivation. Daily. We all do. I especially do. Olivia on BL said something that is so true to me. I always ALWAYS start strong and with the best of intentions and never ever finish. I need daily motivation or else I won't last!

So in case you are all like me: I just wanna say-- WE CAN DO THIS! AND WE WILL!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 120: random thoughts

Getting back on the wagon seems to be harder than getting on it to begin with :-/

Also-I know I have talked a few times about wanting to lose a certain amount of weight or  be a specific dress size. But honestly, I will start to be more comfortable when I don't feel the need to suck in my stomach in public. That would be nice. I am okay (only okay---not satisfied) with my frontal shape (does that make sense?)...Like so:

But I absolutely abhor my profile body shot. Ladies, having a pooch/stomach is not as bad as it is pre-baby as it is post-baby. Especially post-c-section-baby.  I feel like it is so misshapen. Ugh. I really really need to find that wagon and jump back on.

I also wanted to remind you all of  a blog I posted in March I believe...It was called "what a difference"...I posted a pic of me (Here it is) and talked about what a difference make up can make in your self esteem. It can make you feel brighter and happier (at least it does to me!) Well I just wanted to add on to that, I recently started selling Mary Kay and all the make up featured in that pic is Mary Kay! (Here it is again, you know you wanna click on it!) If you are interested in purchasing Mary Kay, visit my website: Lizzy's Mary Kay website
Or contact me via post! I would love to be able to supplement my income and be my own boss! Feel free to share it with people you know! Thanks!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust* 

Day 114: Living in the Shadows

Hannah from the BL once said, "I'm living in the shadows of my life." Its sad to say, but I am sure anyone who has felt uncomfortable in their own skin has felt like this. Your life is passing you by and you feel like you are just in the audience watching it all happen. If we want to be cast the leading role in our life, there is only one way to do it! And that means you have to tryout! Give it all you got! Make TIME! We are all given the same amount of time each day: 24 hours. It is up to us to use them wisely. I for one have been slack on my 24 hours. I find laying down watching TV after work is so relaxing but at the same time, when I head to bed I think, "what a waste!" I realize all the things I can do after the fact.
Training my mindset has proven to be the hardest part of this whole journey. I find it easy to let myself slip right into a funk. And then getting out of the funk is even more difficult. When I watch the Biggest Loser, I instantly feel motivated! In 19 weeks the contestants have lost upwards of 100lbs. Now I know they have had trainers at their disposable and healthy food options readily available, but I definitely get inspired! I need to keep my focus and keep my blog going. I need to stand up more to temptation instead of giving in to it. I need to find a way to make my 24 hrs that I am given each day count.

You can have all the money in the world, but you can never buy another hour...What are you gonna do with your 24 hours?

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 109: Curves

“Cultivate your curves--they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.”

--Mae West

Cultivate my curves, eh? I plan to do just that. I want to thin out and tone my body in all the right places. I want to leave the parts that are meant to be plump, uh...plump. Ha!  I am fortunate to have curves, not every woman does. I just happen to have a little extra...tee hee hee. Now? I just need to focus and work hard.

I have to admit it has been tough lately. I found out on Monday that the contract my employer has with VzW is ending in a few months. That means I need to start the job search asap. I do not want to be without a job come August. I learned I am definitely a stress eater. I have been snacking a lot this week since I heard.  I am trying my best to control it. Its more of an absent minded thing, and I only realize it afterward. 

But, I have faith that God will place me in the right job, whether it be actually for VzW or some other company. I do have to place a hold on my baby making plans. I know, I know, all in God's perfect timing. However I do not want to be foolish about it. I do not want to be pregnant, and then here comes August and I am jobless. For who wants to hire a preggo? 

Oh well! More time to focus on my weight loss right? Exactly! And remember: 'Curve-- the loveliest distance between two points" (Mae West)

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy

*Sexy or Bust*

105: Habits

What is harder to do? Break old habits or form new ones? I thought I had formed a new habit with this blog, but after a few days away it became more difficult to remember. Each passing day that I didn't blog, I didn't even thing about blogging. I really want this to be a habit and one I stick too. 

I also finally did groceries! Target has Smart Ones on sale $1.79 a piece...and if you buy 10 you get a $5 gift card! Weeeeeee! Got to love that deal. I haven't taken a Smart One to work in quiet a while--and it was because I had yet to buy some. No more excuses! In the morning I am going to Curves after dropping Bella off at daycare. I work at 11, so I have plenty of time to squeeze in a workout.

After all the advice I received last night, I believe I know what I want to do! Have a baby!!!! :)
Also, I plan on going full speed with my WW and Curves. Because honestly, we do not know how long it will take to conceive. I am going to get my body back into the swing of losing weight and eating right, that way while we try to get preggo I can tone and shape my body. If my body is used to the workouts and eating healthy then I have no excuse not to continue! Like one of my friends said "why not have the best of both worlds!"

Thanks for listening! I'm baaaaaack!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 104: In the Middle

I am stuck in the middle of 2 things I want.
1) to continue to lose weight and get in shape
2) to have baby #2 (and I mean like get preggo soon)

I know I still have time to have a baby, but I have baby fever! My husby is on board and my 3 year old is asking for a "brover baby" (baby brother.) And in a month I will be 28. Which is still young but closer to my 30s. I know that I cannot chose the gender of my future and unborn children...but if I were to wait a couple of years and end up with a girl...then I will have to try at least 1 more time for a boy. This would put me in my 30s (which again is not old) however I know the further you get in age, the hard conception can be. (or complications can arise).

On the other hand, I really do want to shed these pounds, and soon. I want to be able to be thin and healthy and feel good about myself. My weight loss hasn't been the best this past month or so as I have let a lot get in the way. I definitely need to get to the grocery store and get my healthy foods. I also need to hit Curves hard! My motivation has been lacking lately but at the same time I still yearn more than ever to be thin!

I explained to a few coworkers about why I couldn't eat Noodle & Co or Chipotle with them. I showed them my blog. I think they were blown away with my before pics. They said I was pretty now but I could tell my before pics surprised them. It really made me feel more motivated!

So readers, I realize the have a baby now/later debate is only one that I can decide...but what say you?

PS if no baby should I get a doggie?

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*