Day 140: Missing in action

So the month of May proved to be a complete and total slack off on my part. I knew I was headed for failure even before my last post. Its been almost 3 weeks since I posted. After a while, I just decided to to consider myself of hiatus until after my birthday. Now, I am 28 and I know I need to get things in check. Somewhere along the lines of things though, my drive left. I still have the internal desire and want but the outward drive is missing in action. I am turning out to be all talk and no walk. Literally. I worked out like 3 times in May. And for the next 2 weeks I won't be able to make an appearance at Curves. I am doing the "single" mom thing for the next couple of weeks while the husby is out of town. So not only that, but throw in the fact that we live hours away from practically everyone we know---means not a spare moment to myself. No workouts, nothing. Unless I incorporate my daughter, and our new pupster. I am thinking long walks should do the trick! But I am slowly hoping signing up for Curves doesn't lead to a waste of money.

I am looking for ways to light the fire again. The one I had in January, in that hotel room, away from everyone I knew. So, I went to the grocery store today and got only healthy items. And I refuse to buy lunches at work. That has been a big diet fail as well as putting a big dent in my wallet.

I am setting up a few mini goals. This might reignite the flame. I plan on blogging every other night. Which is a lot more than I have been, right?! I am going to continue to focus on eating right, and try to take daily walks with Bella and Shelby.  I recently discovered I like Oatmeal. (Thanks to the McD's Fruit and Maple Oatmeal) and I like unsweet tea. No sweetener or anything. I am gonna eat Oatmeal in the morning with either my coffee or a smoothie (depending on my time frame). I will pack a lunch, and make a small sensible dinner. I have some fruit and 100 cal packs to do for snacks. I will drink mainly unsweet tea and water.  These are my mini goals to kick start my motivation. My next mid-range goal is to stay strong thru October. My husby's 10 year high school reunion is in October and I want to feel confident when we go. (And if my c/o 2001 would ever get the ball rolling, maybe we'd have our own 10 year to go too....but I digress.) So those are my mini and mid sized goals.

I know what I have to do, now its just doing it. I have been keeping up with BL season 11's participants via Twitter and Facebook (Mainly Oliva, Hannah, Irene, and Courtney!) And still, even though the show is over, these ladies move me. Courtney said something on the finale that hit home. In order to lose weight, I have to make the decision and never look back. Which is hard. But once she did it, she lost over 100lbs before stepping foot on the ranch! That's determination.

I need that determination. I still desire to lose another 50-70lbs if I am being 100% honest. I need to remember that and keep moving forward. No looking back. No stalling in the now. But pushing and moving in one direction.

I plan on watching a few of the new weight loss shows to see how they go. Like the Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition, and any other inspiring fitness journey shows.

Here we go again fellow bloggers!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 121: Ziggazigggahhhh

"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.” - Zig Ziglar :)

So, a friend put this quote on FB and it was perfect for me. I just finished watching my tear jerker of the week (Biggest Loser) and of course I am blubbering! To think of the transformation these contestants made in 20 weeks. And I mean more than just on the outside...but inside as well. And it all started with them deciding to change. They needed constant motivation. Daily. We all do. I especially do. Olivia on BL said something that is so true to me. I always ALWAYS start strong and with the best of intentions and never ever finish. I need daily motivation or else I won't last!

So in case you are all like me: I just wanna say-- WE CAN DO THIS! AND WE WILL!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 120: random thoughts

Getting back on the wagon seems to be harder than getting on it to begin with :-/

Also-I know I have talked a few times about wanting to lose a certain amount of weight or  be a specific dress size. But honestly, I will start to be more comfortable when I don't feel the need to suck in my stomach in public. That would be nice. I am okay (only okay---not satisfied) with my frontal shape (does that make sense?)...Like so:

But I absolutely abhor my profile body shot. Ladies, having a pooch/stomach is not as bad as it is pre-baby as it is post-baby. Especially post-c-section-baby.  I feel like it is so misshapen. Ugh. I really really need to find that wagon and jump back on.

I also wanted to remind you all of  a blog I posted in March I believe...It was called "what a difference"...I posted a pic of me (Here it is) and talked about what a difference make up can make in your self esteem. It can make you feel brighter and happier (at least it does to me!) Well I just wanted to add on to that, I recently started selling Mary Kay and all the make up featured in that pic is Mary Kay! (Here it is again, you know you wanna click on it!) If you are interested in purchasing Mary Kay, visit my website: Lizzy's Mary Kay website
Or contact me via post! I would love to be able to supplement my income and be my own boss! Feel free to share it with people you know! Thanks!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust* 

Day 114: Living in the Shadows

Hannah from the BL once said, "I'm living in the shadows of my life." Its sad to say, but I am sure anyone who has felt uncomfortable in their own skin has felt like this. Your life is passing you by and you feel like you are just in the audience watching it all happen. If we want to be cast the leading role in our life, there is only one way to do it! And that means you have to tryout! Give it all you got! Make TIME! We are all given the same amount of time each day: 24 hours. It is up to us to use them wisely. I for one have been slack on my 24 hours. I find laying down watching TV after work is so relaxing but at the same time, when I head to bed I think, "what a waste!" I realize all the things I can do after the fact.
Training my mindset has proven to be the hardest part of this whole journey. I find it easy to let myself slip right into a funk. And then getting out of the funk is even more difficult. When I watch the Biggest Loser, I instantly feel motivated! In 19 weeks the contestants have lost upwards of 100lbs. Now I know they have had trainers at their disposable and healthy food options readily available, but I definitely get inspired! I need to keep my focus and keep my blog going. I need to stand up more to temptation instead of giving in to it. I need to find a way to make my 24 hrs that I am given each day count.

You can have all the money in the world, but you can never buy another hour...What are you gonna do with your 24 hours?

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 109: Curves

“Cultivate your curves--they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.”

--Mae West

Cultivate my curves, eh? I plan to do just that. I want to thin out and tone my body in all the right places. I want to leave the parts that are meant to be plump, uh...plump. Ha!  I am fortunate to have curves, not every woman does. I just happen to have a little extra...tee hee hee. Now? I just need to focus and work hard.

I have to admit it has been tough lately. I found out on Monday that the contract my employer has with VzW is ending in a few months. That means I need to start the job search asap. I do not want to be without a job come August. I learned I am definitely a stress eater. I have been snacking a lot this week since I heard.  I am trying my best to control it. Its more of an absent minded thing, and I only realize it afterward. 

But, I have faith that God will place me in the right job, whether it be actually for VzW or some other company. I do have to place a hold on my baby making plans. I know, I know, all in God's perfect timing. However I do not want to be foolish about it. I do not want to be pregnant, and then here comes August and I am jobless. For who wants to hire a preggo? 

Oh well! More time to focus on my weight loss right? Exactly! And remember: 'Curve-- the loveliest distance between two points" (Mae West)

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy

*Sexy or Bust*

105: Habits

What is harder to do? Break old habits or form new ones? I thought I had formed a new habit with this blog, but after a few days away it became more difficult to remember. Each passing day that I didn't blog, I didn't even thing about blogging. I really want this to be a habit and one I stick too. 

I also finally did groceries! Target has Smart Ones on sale $1.79 a piece...and if you buy 10 you get a $5 gift card! Weeeeeee! Got to love that deal. I haven't taken a Smart One to work in quiet a while--and it was because I had yet to buy some. No more excuses! In the morning I am going to Curves after dropping Bella off at daycare. I work at 11, so I have plenty of time to squeeze in a workout.

After all the advice I received last night, I believe I know what I want to do! Have a baby!!!! :)
Also, I plan on going full speed with my WW and Curves. Because honestly, we do not know how long it will take to conceive. I am going to get my body back into the swing of losing weight and eating right, that way while we try to get preggo I can tone and shape my body. If my body is used to the workouts and eating healthy then I have no excuse not to continue! Like one of my friends said "why not have the best of both worlds!"

Thanks for listening! I'm baaaaaack!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 104: In the Middle

I am stuck in the middle of 2 things I want.
1) to continue to lose weight and get in shape
2) to have baby #2 (and I mean like get preggo soon)

I know I still have time to have a baby, but I have baby fever! My husby is on board and my 3 year old is asking for a "brover baby" (baby brother.) And in a month I will be 28. Which is still young but closer to my 30s. I know that I cannot chose the gender of my future and unborn children...but if I were to wait a couple of years and end up with a girl...then I will have to try at least 1 more time for a boy. This would put me in my 30s (which again is not old) however I know the further you get in age, the hard conception can be. (or complications can arise).

On the other hand, I really do want to shed these pounds, and soon. I want to be able to be thin and healthy and feel good about myself. My weight loss hasn't been the best this past month or so as I have let a lot get in the way. I definitely need to get to the grocery store and get my healthy foods. I also need to hit Curves hard! My motivation has been lacking lately but at the same time I still yearn more than ever to be thin!

I explained to a few coworkers about why I couldn't eat Noodle & Co or Chipotle with them. I showed them my blog. I think they were blown away with my before pics. They said I was pretty now but I could tell my before pics surprised them. It really made me feel more motivated!

So readers, I realize the have a baby now/later debate is only one that I can decide...but what say you?

PS if no baby should I get a doggie?

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 100: Where have I been?

Apparently I fell off the wagon and it drove away before I could catch it...Sigh.

I am slowly catching up. After a great weekend home and a bunch of excuses before that--I have completely gone astray. I want to say I met my 4 week challenge but that would be a lie. I want to make a new one (my bday is in a month!) but now I am worried that making a challenge for myself is going to make it worse....

What to do?

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 88: Round is a shape!

So one of the managers at work is from Africa (not sure what part but she has a lovely accent!), and today as I was getting ready to leave she complimented me. She was telling me that she thinks I dress nice and that "round" women don't normally dress well. I didn't take offense to this (normally I probably would have) because I realized she really was being genuine. She meant that the way I dressed flattered my size. She is not new to the store but has been away on leave for a while so she doesn't really know my WW journey and efforts. Anyway I found it to be funny and thought I would share!

Also--I signed up officially for Curves today--NO MORE EXCUSES!!! And to top it off, the instructor said I can bring Bella if I am ever in a jam. So seriously no excuses!

AND today is my 8 month-iversary! LOL I can't believe 8 months has passed since we said "I do!"

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 86: Oooh!

I noticed today more than anything: my wedding band and engagement ring are loose!!! I hope one day soon I will have to get them resized! But not till I am down a significant amount. Yay!

That is my small win for the day!

What are some successes you are seeing?

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 85: Is that a wall? Or a Plateau?

I know I have been a stranger lately, I just haven't had much to report. I haven't lost anymore weight and I would love to say that it is because I am losing inches--but I doubt it. Since I went away last week to train for work, its been tough being on track. I have also resumed with my bad habit of eating out. Granted, I have NOT been eating bad stuff, and I make good choices when I go out. The fact is that, I really need to limit it to 1 time a week at most. The sodium and calories at a restaurant far exceeded food I can get at home.
So I probably haven't hit a plateau, but rather I am just not pushing hard enough. I am kind of disappointed in myself because my 4 week challenge is pretty much down the drain. I have about 2 weeks left (roughly) and I don't think I can lose 10lbs in that time and be healthy about it.
I haven't officially joined Curves, and if I have a moment today I am going to do it. I really enjoyed my free week and I am looking forward to pushing it harder.
One thing I have been doing is sucking in my gut while I work. Its not easy to do, especially while I am trying to troubleshoot phone issues. But I have tried it for 2 days now and let me tell you, my ab muscles (the ones hidden deep behind walls of fatty tissue) are aching! I feel like I have been doing crunches!!!

Well y'all---motivate me! (haha!)

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 80: Time to get back on it!

The Weight Loss Train that is...The past few days have been difficult to eat right, drink right, etc. So tomorrow I get to go full speed ahead! I have a lot to lose if I want to meet my 4 week challenge. I don't have a lot to say today because I am tired. But I am home from training and ready to lose weight!

I can tell that I haven't been doing what I was supposed to do by the way my body feels. And I do not like it one bit!!! But I am starting to see changes in my face, and others are too. Thanks for the encouragement!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 79: Water! I'm a Fan!

So I stopped at Target today. I walked passed the water/juice section and saw a 4 pack of flavored water for $1.99. So I figured, why not? I grabbed the Archer Farms Pomegranate Blackberry Spring Water Beverage (don't worry, 0 calories!). It is so delicious!!! And I feel much more hydrated. I am not saying I will only drink this kind of water, but it does help me drink it up. That way when I am able to escape for a drink at work, I will easily guzzle this down! Yay!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy

*Sexy or Bust*

Day 78: A few things on my mind

Its been a few days since I last blogged. So let me just say that this hotel, although it is nice, is not like the first stay I had during my New Hire Training. It is just a nice room. No kitchen. No microwave. No mini-fridge. So what else does that mean? No Smart Ones. No cold snacks. Etc... But I will make do with what I can.

So tonight, Biggest Loser made me tear up again. The girl who was the biggest at the start of the show went home today. She lost 92 lbs in 14 weeks. And before she even started she lost over 100 lbs. Her total weight lost when she left the Biggest Loser Ranch was 204 lbs. She was still at about 230 lbs when she went home, and went on to lose an additional 20. Who knows what she will be by the finale, but I can only imagine. I am excited for her. And I am taking to heart the words of wisdom she gave at the end of the show. She said that those of us watching at home don't need to be there to lose weight. We just have to trust the process. If we do the things necessary to be healthy, even though it may seem to take a snail's pace, slowly but surely we will get there. Eventually we will whittle away the pounds.

I think I have always struggled with trusting the process. After a few bad weighins or a few slip ups, in the past I have always tended to give up. But thanks to this blog, and all of you, my mindset has changed. I do trust the process. And I know that if this girl who started at home weighing over 430 lbs can now weigh 210 lbs (and over half of that was lost at home!), then I can do it. I can trust the process and I know that it does work.

Okay, aside from that renewed sense of motivation....there is another thing on my mind.

Water.

I am realizing that I am still not getting enough water in. I stay thirsty and then at night I feel like I have been walking a desert for days. Then I can't gulp down enough water before bed. How do I remind myself to drink? At work its near impossible to slip away to grab a drink unless its lunch time. Hmm... Any tips? Its not the flavor of water, because I am okay with just plain, ice cold water...I just can't seem to get enough in each day.


-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 75: A bit nervous!

So, for those of you who remember when I started writing this blog, it was from a hotel room during training for my job. Well Monday night I return to the scene. Kinda. I have to go back to Baltimore for a 3 day training. (Tues-Thurs). I won't be in the same hotel as before (I wish I was though!), so I am stuck wondering what it is going to be like. Will I have a fridge and micro? At least a fridge so I can buy a few Smart Ones to bring for my lunches. We do get compensated for our dinners, so I can make that a nice salad from somewhere. I just fear the "hotel life"

Plus, last time I was in training (and right before I started this blog) I was snacking all day to stay up and energized (lots of info at one time can lead to brain shutting down!)

Also, it means that for those 3 days I will not be able to go to my Curves. Hopefully there will be a workout room at the hotel. I guess I better look it up so I can know whats in store!

So, readers, I ask you this: what are your travel tips to eating and staying healthy?

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 74: Decent day!

Not much to say in the world of weight loss. I didn't work out today, busy work day! But after my 1st real month at work, I hit all my goals. Yay! I am gonna go work out tomorrow too, and try for Zumba on Saturday morning.

Also, I came across a pre-baby pic that I love. Its me between a 12/14. It is definitely something I could be happy at (until I get down to my true goal of a 10/12).

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 72: Not a lot to report

I did manage to get my tail up this morning and work out before work. That is 3 times in 3 days. Tomorrow I am going to go after  I get off work. That will be different. I hope I can do it. I also wonder if it will be busy or not. Its been pretty slow at Curves with only a couple of ladies there at a time. I bet the real crowd comes after work.

Also, I ate a Snickers bar today. Lets just say I was having one of those I need chocolate moments. But, I accounted for it with my points.

I better get to bed!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 71: Is it worth it, let me work it...

Today was my day off. Gratefully my dear husby took the little one to daycare so I didn't have to get out of bed right of way. I did get up and eat a bowl of Kix (kid tested, mother approved). Then I fell back asleep for an hour (hey! I worked the close shift last night, I was tired!) Around 10:45 I made myself get up. I got ready and headed to Curves. Granted it was later than I originally planned (so I missed the Zumba class) but I was happy to just be going. The past couple of months my exercise efforts have been less than routine.

If it is one thing that I am learning, is that consistency is key. How do I expect the weight to really come off and stay off if I can't even work out more than once a week? I have a beautiful cousin "M" who told me the other day about her weight loss success. She told me the two things that finally worked for her were working out 4-5 times a week and a food journal. Well I basically have the food journal down (thank you WW), so now I need to get the working out thing down. I plan on going W-F this week and then actually join.

When I got to Curves there was only 1 lady there, and she was an older lady. She was softly doing her circuit training. It would have been very easy to follow her rhythm. But I kept my focus. I worked out pretty hard and had a good sweat going. I felt like I really burned some calories. I am really happy to be back at Curves.

So I do plan on going to the Zumba classes, and continue 4-5 times a week at Curves. And some of the machines really work my glutes! Like this one:

Pretty soon my tush will be in tip top JLo condition! And not to brag, but I think its well on its way. Hahaha:

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 70: Curves!

I went to Curves today! It felt great to get back into it. Tomorrow morning they have a Zumba class that I think I am going to do. I also got measured today. Ugh. It hated knowing my measurements but at the same time I wished I had done them when I started WW.  That way I could see my progress.

Either way, I am glad I got them done. The lady also asked me what size I was wanting to be in. I told her my 1st goal would be a 12. So she had a chart that gave measurements of someone who would be in a 12.  When she compared each measurement (bust, thighs, hips, etc) it didn't seem so bad. Then she totaled them up. And it came up to about 31 inches. 31 INCHES THAT I NEED TO LOSE from ALL over my BODY. to get into a 12. *Le Sigh*

I really think I can do it this time. My 1st Curves goal is 25lbs. Which would bring me down to what I was in the summer of 2009. Right after I lost about 39lbs with JC. (ya know, before I gained it all back). It will bring me to a weight I haven't been able to get below in a long time. I am pretty stoked.


Now I am heading to bed. Good night all!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 69: Stronger

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
-Christina Aguilera

After yesterday, I was feeling a bit down. I almost let myself make today a diet free day and just binge. Thankfully I did not. Through out the day I kept reminding myself why I am doing this. It is not to impress 50 year old strangers that come into a store. I am doing this for me. For my family. For my health. And I am going to continue to do it for those reasons. And on top of it all, I am going to use things like last night, to fuel my fire.

I am going to make myself stronger. Physically and mentally. I am starting Curves tomorrow. And I will continue my WW journey. And if by chance people who see me now and think I am fat and/or pregnant, see me later--I hope their jaws drop. Tee hee hee.

I want to thank everyone for their comments last night (and today!) It means a lot too me! It definitely keeps me going. And although my long term goal is to lose an additional 75lbs or so, I am going to continue to do things the healthy and correct way. And not a "quick fix" like before.

Also, I am excited to see a few others joining me in my 4 week challenge!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 68: When are you due?

Ouch. Those are the words spoken to me by a stranger today. And they hurt. I am sure the man didn't mean to be rude but I was floored. I didn't even realize he was talking to me. I mean because I am NOT pregnant. Just fat. It took a minute to register that he was looking at me after asking that question. I said, "Who me?!?" And the idiot still didn't realize by the shocked look on my face that I was not with child. I said, "Oh I am not pregnant. I am just trying to lose weight." He then tried to back track but it was too late. The damage was done.

There were so many things I could have said, and didn't. I wish I would have been so quick to say, "Oh, October....2007." Or even lie and say I was due with triplets in September. But I am not that quick with my wit. And the truth is, all I wanted to do was turn around, walk away, and cry. If the guy would have been the only one standing there, it would not have been as bad. But another coworker was there--it was actually his customer not mine. I was 5 minutes away from leaving for the day. I was mortified.

After I finally got out of there, I called my husband (who had tried calling me a few minutes before the incident.) A few minutes into the conversation I told him what happened and of course he was comforting. But after getting off the phone I cried the whole drive home. I hate myself for feeling so upset about it. But I am. It feels like you take 1 step forward, and 2 back. I currently have ZERO appetite, but at the same time all I want to do is eat a bowl of ice cream and some greasy pizza. I want to curl up in a ball, under a blanket, and not see anyone for a few days.

So, let me ask you--what do you do when someone points out your flaw? Your weak spot? Or if you were me, what would you have done?

*Le Sigh*

-with much hope and  A LOT of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 67: Excited!

Yay for exciting things! Tomorrow I am going to stop by Curves before work to sign up for my free week. Then after that I will sign up for real :)

I really want to work my tail off for the next 4 weeks because I just found out I get to go back home for Easter! Its 1 month away :) Think I can lose 10lbs? Here is hoping!

The plan: Curves, more water than I have been doing, and vitamins! (along with the WW I am already doing.) Is there anybody out there who wants to take on this challenge with me? 10lbs in 1 month? that is about 2.5lbs a week....yikes! Its just for fun, if I only lose 5 I will be happy. Losing is winning right? Losing is definitely gaining!!!

PS working all weekend again!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 66: Guarded

I talked with the husby and I am going to go to Curves for a free week and see if it is what I want to do. I like free! I can't wait.

Also...my pants are loose! wahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Pants I recently bought for work. It felt great putting them on and feeling room in them.

On a side note. Do you ever feel like people do not know the real you? That they only know the fat you? I mean, I feel so guarded when I meet people. I want to be calm, poised, and reserved. I want to seem sophisticated. I do not want to be my silly self. My crazy, laugh out loud self. Why? Because of my mindset. I do not want to be the crazy fat girl. Or that wild big girl.

I feel like this all the time. Work, meeting new people, hanging out with my husby's friends. I do not feel like they know me.And that all they see is the plus size me. There are only a handful of people that I can seriously hang out with and not feel like I am being judged. And honestly, there are probably plenty of people not judging me, but in my mind I think they are. And I can't let my guard down.

Anyways, I long for my weight to peal off, as well as the layers that guard me. I want to be confident when I meet people and feel like I belong.

Tell me I am not crazy, and that some of you all feel that way from time to time...

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 64: I made the call!

Okay, so I went ahead and weighed in. I am down 0.8lbs. I am glad I ended up losing and not gaining. That helps me see that even when I have eaten out during the week, I have been able to make wiser choices than I used to do. That feels good. It helps me see that I can do this. I really can!

I am pretty happy about the 0.8, that makes my total so far 17.8lbs lost. I am quickly approaching my 10% mark. But is it bad that I wish it were more? Everyone always says that losing 1-2lbs a week is healthy. And I really want to lose 1-2lbs a week! So if I had to review the past 2 months and think, what is it that I can do to make the pounds melt off? Uh, exercise dummy! Ha! I really haven't been consistent with the working out. I blame it on time and how tired I am after work. Its all excuses.

I started thinking about how I really enjoyed Curves. And I was able to lose a lot of weight on Curves. I feel like if I combine WW with Curves, I can really get to my goal size in a healthy but faster time than just WW alone. I called my local Curves to find out the cost and any specials.

Well, if I decide to do this (need to talk to the husby!) then I am in luck! In April they are waiving the sign up fee if I bring a bag of food for the local food pantry. And I can do a week free until then. I think that sounded great in itself...Then I heard some more great news...On Monday nights and Tuesday mornings, my local Curves does Zumba! If I could do Zumba, Curves, and WW that would be amazing!!!

I will let you all know my decision in the next few days, because if I am gonna do it I want to start Monday.

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 63: These are my Confessions

No, no, no. Not the same kinda confessions that U-S-H-E-R-R-A-Y-M-O-N-D had, but rather some WW/point counting confessions. This past week has been hectic. Work nonstop, 6 days straight, thru the weekend. I have been so exhausted these past few days that I have not counted like I should have. I have a basic idea of what constitutes my points on a day to day basis when I eat my standard plan. But this week I have strayed. I have been to tired to cook and barely awake enough to eat on some days. I have eaten a lot of Panera...and some other takeout. I have tried to pick the better options...We did Taco Bell and I tried the el fresco tacos. Pretty good! and about 150 calories. We did KFC one night, and i pulled off the skin...so that is good right?

I also forgot to weigh in this morning...I  could barely wake up! Thank God I am off for the next 2 days! I need to rest. I will weigh in soon. I doubt I lost...may have gained. We shall see.

I just felt the need to be honest about my non perfect week. Another thing I need to do is GROCERIES! I have run low on my healthy choices in the house.

Super tired, and ready to sleep so I am keeping this short. I vow to do better!

PS we are all human :)

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 62: What a difference!

I may not have a million dollar wardrobe or a lot of cash to buy a lot of name brands or high class labels...And I am okay with that. Thanks to my mom, I have some great stretch the dollar skills (and no, I am not calling my mama cheap! I just mean she knows how to take a little and make it a lot.) I love shopping for bargains. Ross, Burlington, Online Sales...CLEARANCE sections. Those are all music to my ears.

I am mentioning all this for a reason. It goes back to something my mom told me when I was pregnant. She told me just because I was getting bigger, it didn't mean I had to dress sloppy. And I agree. I agree for more than just when I was pregnant. And for more than just my weight. I know sometimes dressing in sweats and a tshirt might feel great, (and comfortable) but it can also disguise the real you.  Take a look at the pictures below. One is a picture I have posted before, (I think) but it is of my dressed cute. Not fancy, nothing designer, but just dressed right to fit my size. The other is me in sweats and my husband's old high school tshirt.  Big difference. AND I MEAN BIG (ba-doon-kish!)

I have a shape!

 

 

 

where did my shape go?

See how just wearing cute clothes, or rather clothes that actually fit, can make you look so much skinnier? I mean, don't get me wrong I am all for wearing sweats (but I reserve it for around the house, cleaning, and exercise).

Another side by side picture I want to show you has nothing to do with my journey to a skinnier and healthier me. but it does help me illustrate my point. Makeup. I love makeup. I know its not for everyone. And women are beautiful with it and without it. My makeup, for me, an finish off an already great look. I took a before and after this morning. I do not go heavy on makeup (at least I think I don't). But it does make me feel better and happier about my look.

tired to fab!

Anyways, my point is that just because we are overweight or tired and feeling a bit "blah", doesn't mean we can't take a few minor steps to go from Drab to Fab!!!

Thanks for reading! Take my new poll!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 59: T-Shirt Time

If you have been following my blog from the beginning, you might remember my story about work giving long sleeve shirts out for the iPhone Launch. If you don't know what I am talking about and want to catch up you can click here to read it. Well, long story short, I requested an XL shirt and was fearful it wouldn't fit.

Fast forward to yesterday...We found out we were being issued shirts for today's launch of the Thunderbolt. This time they were black (wahoo for black, it really is slimming and forgiving!) Well, I must have slipped and bumped my head because when we were asking for our sizes I said "Large". I didn't purposely ask for a smaller size than last time (5 weeks ago), but for some reason that is the word my mouth formed and voice said. It was only later, at home, that I started thinking about how that was the wrong size. I almost freaked out. I had no other option, and it was mandatory uniform.

Fast forward again to this morning....after my shower it was the moment of truth. I pulled the shirt over my head, my arms went through the sleeves, and I proceeded to pull the body of the shirt down. To my amazement, it fit! And not that snuggy fit either. Like, it really really fit. NO MORE XL IN T SHIRTS. I CAN WEAR THE LARGE SIZE!

I am pretty ecstatic about it! My weight loss isn't coming off nearly as fast as I am use to when I embark on diets. And sometimes the number on the scale can be a mind game, but I am pleased that although I am roughly 17lbs down, I can officially say my t-shirt size has gone down! Yay!

Hope everyone is having a Happy St Patricks Day!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 56: What do you do to pass time?

One of my biggest enemies is boredom. When I am sitting around doing nothing, I tend to get the urge to eat. It used to happen daily at my former job. I snacked all day long. Hence why I never had much success keeping weight off or losing weight. My current job keeps me busy, and I never snack. I only eat at my meal time. Its wonderful. Then on my days off, like today, its hard to not graze (for lack of a better term). My husband is at work during the day and Bella is at daycare...so I get bored. Even doing chores around the house I am bored. So I found myself snack today. Not on anything bad, because, well because we haven't bought any bad junk food in a long time!

My question to my readers tonight is this: what do you do to pass time (besides eat)?! Working out is a great option, but I am not exercising all day long....

Let me know!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 55: Pretty excited!

I weighed in this morning and I am down another 0.6lbs. That makes my total over the last 7 weeks to be 15.2lbs. That is great! And while 0.6lbs a week is great, I would love it to be 1-2lbs a week. I know what I need to do....all together now...EXERCISE. I think I am going to try to add a tracker on this blog. That way I can feel more accountable. Because I will be honest. And I won't want to let you all down. I talked to the husby and he is cool with him and Bella hiding out in the room while I do my On Demand exercises. Yay! Also, since it is warming up we may start walking together when we can. I want to do a combo of walking and zumba. Maybe walking daily and Zumba 3 times a week. That should be doable.

Oh and why I am excited: Today a lady at work (one of the managers), was coming to me for weight loss advice. She is about 5'7" and weights about 180. She isn't big at all, she just has tummy weight that she wants to lose. I was giving her ideas and options. It felt great that someone smaller in size than me would come to me for advice. And I was happy to help!

I am off for the next 2 days and I plan on do some great exercise and finally putting my blog that I have been brainstorming about on paper...uh virtual paper....

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 53: Cheat day?!?!

During work today, I got called JLo. It made me laugh. I felt like I was 17 again walking the halls of Hillcrest. (Psst psst hey hey you, JLo, psst). And a female coworker complimented my style today. She told me that I always look so cute. That statement is going to be part of my Saturday or Sunday night blog.

Tonight, the husband and I went to a church banquet. (they had childcare wahoo!) The food was catered by Outback. I guess you can call this a cheat meal, since I really didn't count points. I ate salad, mixed veggies, a roll, a small scoop of mashed potatoes, and a few strips of chicken and steak. It was all portioned nicely (in other words, not huge restaurant size servings). It was delicious!!! Oh and I had a slice of carrot cake. We had a great time, food was great, and all in all I am happy (and not guilty) I think it is perfectly fine to have days/moments like this. I didn't over indulge, but it was a slight splurge. But luckily on WW, with the extra weekly points it is okay!

Well, I have to work all weekend, so I am heading to bed now. Have a great night!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 52: Sleepy.

No real blog tonight. It has been a long rainy day and I am exhausted. Tomorrow we are going to a church event (our 1st one! yay!) Hope we meet some nice people. Anyway I have a great topic for a blog, but I think it will be this weekend before I can get to it. Hope everyone is having a great week.

Here are a few questions for my readers:

Do you run?
If yes, do you run inside or outdoors?

What's your favorite meal of the day and why?

How do you reward yourself when you achieve a weight loss goal?

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 51: The Evolution of Me.

Many times I look back and wonder, "where did this weight come from?" I mean, I know I just didn't wake up this size. So today I took a stroll through memory lane. I know I said I didn't want to live in the past, and I won't. But I think it will be interesting to see a time line of then to now and then from now to the new me. So this part will be skinny me to not skinny me. Then I will take pictures as I drop sizes, going from unhealthy me to healthy me.
First off is Age 14. I was most likely a size 5 in this picture:

Skinny arms, boney neck, little waist

Next picture, I am 15...and I remember thinking my stomach was sticking out in this picture and it was just the pose:

skinny arms and legs, head cut off

Next up is me age 15, well more like 15 1/2. I am in my 2nd beauty pageant and wearing a pretty body hugging dress. I felt sexy, I was a size 6. (Wearing my cousin "S" dress):

Hour glass shape!

This next picture is from my junior year of high school, I am just shy of being 16 I think I was officially in a size 6, but my waist was small so this dress is a 4 (since the waist is cinched and the skirt flowy):

For the sake of anonymity I changed my dates face...

This next picture is one, that looking back I could have smacked myself for. My mom took this pic of me because I wanted to see how I looked in my two piece. When we got the roll of film developed I was devastated. All I saw was fat, fat, and more fat. If you asked my mom, she would tell you how much I cried. Silly right? But of course this is after the boyfriend that told me I should "tone up". (from one of my first blog postings)

FLAT TUMMY

Next I am jumping to about age 18 (closer to 19 I think). I had gained my freshman 15ish...(20?)

still not big (except the booty)

Later that year, in the summer (age 19) I went on a beach trip with my church. I was clearly uncomfortable in my new size and I think my face shows it. I am probably a size 10 inching into a 12. I remember hating shopping for the swim suits because I was used to fitting into smalls and mediums, not larges. Looking back, of course I don't think I look terrible, but I just see lack of confidence in my body.

 

desperately sucking in my stomach.

Jump ahead to about age 21. I was married to my 1st husband and more confident in my body. I was in a 10/12 but I knew how to dress my body better and felt sexy and happy with my appearance. I would love to look this good again

The last picutre I am adding is me at about age 22. I am in between a size 12 and 14. I was going through my divorce at this time. Even though I have a little more belly here, its not terrible. I wish I had begun to control my weight gain at this point It would have been easier to start here:

Currently I am in an 18. The biggest I have ever been was a 22 (right after giving birth to my daughter). I have gone up and down between 16 & 18 for some time now.  Even after losing almost 40lbs with Jenny Craig I was barely out of a 16. I think its because I tend to gain weight evenly for the most part so losing it comes off the same way. Instead of losing a bunch in my stomach and going down in sizes quickly, its an even melt. Which I guess is good in the long run. Well hope this time line of pictures helps you see the evolution of me. I can't wait to post pics going in the opposite direction!

Have a great night!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 50: Real Women Have Curves

This is an early morning post, mostly because I have a topic on the brain but also because I have to close tonight and may be too tired to post tonight. So, like my title post says :real women have curves. Now let me post a disclaimer---I am not saying that women who weigh less than 100lbs and and are less than a size 6 have no curves and are not real women. I mean, that more often than not, the average woman is size 6 or greater.

On my blog for the past week I have had a poll up. The poll asked what size you were. There were 22 votes and here are the results:

The results? Most of the women who participated are in the size 12-14 range. Not 2-4, but 12-14. I know it is only a tiny sampling of women across the world, but I think its pretty realistic.

I personally want to be somewhere in the 10-14 size range, more on the 10/12 side of things. I still have some sizes to drop, but I never want to get to a size 6 or lower. I haven't been a size 6 since I was about 15 years old. Puberty had hit, but just barely---my curves had just started to make an appearance. I would say the perfect size for my body is again, a size 10. At a size 10, I had a booty, a relatively flat stomach, and a C/D cup. That is what I want again---some meat on my bones in all the right places. If you are currently making an effort to lose weight and get in shape, I ask you this: what is your ideal size and why?

Good Morning to all my followers! Have a Blessed Tuesday!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 49: Keeping the motivation going

I'm not going to lie, compliments feel awesome. When people notice a change, and comment on it--it feels great. When strangers (customers) tell me I have a pretty smile, it makes my day. When people I know tell me I am beautiful regardless of my size, it is wonderful!

But at the same time, its dangerous...Why, you might ask? Okay, well since I am vowing to be honest in this blog I will tell ya the truth. The compliments make it real easy to become complacent. I know its a great thing that I have lost 15lbs, but I have to remind myself that 15lbs is not my goal. I still want to lose at least another 50. AT LEAST. But honestly, it can be hard to continue and be motivated when I start to feel good about my looks. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am not at the end of my journey. I have so many goals that I want to meet. And I am determined to meet them soon. I hope to come home for Easter (home to SC) which is in roughly 7 weeks. I would love to lose another 15-20lbs before then. ( I know that is a big goal, but I gotta reach high). And I hope that sometime this year the HHS c/o 2001 will have a 10 yr reunion and I would love to be smaller for that (plus my husband's reunion is in the fall).

So I have to stay focused and motivated. This weekend I wasn't the best WW participant that I could have been. But I am not going to beat myself up. I did great today and resisted the urge to pick up Mexican for dinner on the way home. My baked chicken, sweet potatoes, and stir fry veggies tasted much better!

I am not saying that I hope I don't hear the compliments anymore, I just need to retrain my brain to think "see how good you are doing, well keep it up" and not "I'm doing great so I can cheat some". I am thankful for all the compliments and comments. I am humbled by the fact that so many of you are telling me what an inspiration I am being. And I want to let you all know how much those words of encouragement mean to me! You INSPIRE me! Thank you!

PS: to my cousin "S"....BBB!!!!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 48: That's what she said!

Ever been around the kind of people that seem to only have one purpose in life? To bring you down? Yeah, me too. I hope I am never this type of person, and I do try to live by that old saying "if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all". But apparently not everyone thinks that way.

Let me explain. The other day at work, a coworker made a comment about my SmartOnes. She picked up the box and said, "Do you eat these because you think they are healthy or because you like them?" I told her I like them and that I was on WW and it was easy to count the points. She continued to say how awful frozen meals were for people due to the sodium in them. I really didn't know how to take it. I don't know her very well and I just didn't have the words to say. I couldn't believe she would actually say that to me while I was eating it. But, that's what she said!

Part of me wanted to explain to her about the kind of eating I was doing before I started WW, and asked her if she knew the sodium content in that! I also wanted to make up for the fact that I ate frozen lunches, and tell her I ate a real breakfast and dinner. That SmartOnes were mere convenience for work. I wanted to tell her how mean and rude it is to tell someone that the effort they are making to live better and eat better is awful for them. I wanted to put my 15lb weight loss in her face and say I did it with the help of  frozen meals. But I didn't. I don't owe her anything. But I will tell you that words of discouragement make this even harder. I'm not down and out, just down.

So I am going to focus on the good things. The noticeables. You know, the things I have noticed that have changed or improved since I started WW. One is of course my weightloss. Other things include:

• clothes fitting better
• skin being clearer than ever
• hair looking and acting healthier and fuller
• stomach not sticking out as much
• better moods
• one of my chins is gone 

I have also noticed that since I can tell that my face is thinning out, I feel more and more comfortable looking natural. If you have ever been overweight, then maybe you understand this. The bigger I am, the more I think I only look pretty when I am dressed up to the max. Full makeup and carefully picked out outfits. As my face has thinned I feel more comfortable with a little powder, lip gloss, crazy curls, jeans and a tshirt. Its a great feeling.

I am not going to let what an uninformed coworker says affect me. Instead I will focus on the noticeables!

Goodnight all!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 47: Temptation at its finest!

Yesterday, all across the back room and break rooms at work there was a common theme. FRIED CHICKEN. When I get to work I see tons of coworkers demolishing chicken. I figured everyone who worked the open shift just decided to order a bunch of food for lunch.... No big deal.

Then around 5pm when I went to take my break, I walked in the break room and this is what I saw:

Apparently the company bought a bunch of Popeyes Chicken for everyone. So chicken was fair game. Along with mashed potatoes, gravy, mac and cheese, biscuits, and gallons of sweet tea.  And I am not gonna lie. I was tempted. Extremely. All I wanted was a wing. One juicy fried chicken wing. That's it... And I actually opened a box to look inside. (Bad I know!) But thankfully, one of the security guards (a different one from last time) encouraged me to stay strong. And just having him say something was all I needed. I resisted. I had to walk away in order to stay strong.

I came back later and warmed up my SmartOnes. This time I had the lasagna. After it was heated I placed it on a paper plate so I could feel like it was more home cooked rather than nuked. So as I am eating, coworkers start popping their heads in the break room. "Mmmm, that smells so good!" and "Wow I can smell that down the hallway, it smells great" etc etc. I actually felt a moment of pride --not because it was food I cooked--but because people were envious of my little meal when they had access to tons of deep fried goodness. Haha.

So I am pretty happy that I decided to resist the Popeyes! Also, I am proud to put this next picture up. Only because for the past few years I make it a point to pose a certain way in my pictures. That way would be facing forward with my arms up and around someone or on my hips to appear as thin as possible. Yesterday I was able to pose slightly turned, and I am happy with it. That might seem silly, but its small victories that help me go forward.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 45: J Lo

In high school, guys used to call me J Lo. Pretty Puerto Rican with a booty? I will take it! One day, I hope to get that comparison again. Some people may not like her, but I think she is amazing. I would love to be the same size/shape as her...but honestly, I would be happy being her when she was a fly girl or on Selena!

My post is short and full of nonsense...but I spent my night watching American Idol (can you tell?).

Now I am heading to bed!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

PS--my husband keeps telling me how hot I am. Yay for confidence and weight loss!


Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 44: Only me.

I watched last night's Biggest Loser this morning as I got ready for work. (of course I cried, do I even need to say it?) Well, one of the contestants said something that really struck a chord with me. What everything boils down to in my journey to lose weight and become healthier, is me. That's right. Me. If I want to lose weight, only I can make myself do it. No one else is going to force me to work out or eat right. No one else is with me 24/7. It is my choice. My decision.

When I started thinking about this today, I also realized something really important.  I think for the longest time I played the blame game. I was a victim in my mind and I felt I had every right to be. What's funny is that I used to never be that way. I always prided myself in the fact that I never let my circumstances affect other parts of my life (like school, church, etc). I told myself I wouldn't let the fact that I grew up in a household that had very little money (among other things), affect who I became. I didn't let myself drink before I was 21. I got straight As in high school. I went to a great college. I never did drugs. I was a virgin on my wedding night. (Sorry if that is TMI). But I prided myself in the fact that I rose above certain situations.  

But somewhere along the way, I lost my way. As I gained weight I started to blame it on many things:

• growing up poor made me want to go out to eat all the time because I used to not be able to.
• my parents got divorced while I was a freshman in college
• the freshman 15
• my fiance (at the time) joined the Air Force and food comforted me
• my marriage was falling apart
• I was 22 and divorced
• I got pregnant
• I was a single mom
• I was happy and in love 
• my birth control was putting on the pounds
• and I could go on and on...

I think I started to use these excuses as a disguise. I felt like if I had a reason to why I weighed so much, then people would understand. They would know that the person they saw on the outside wasn't who I was on the inside. I could recite these reasons flawlessly and anytime I did, I felt better even only for a moment. 

Now I realize that during all those things, nobody forced me to eat (and not exercise). I could have found a different outlet for my emotions. I had total control, yet I never grasped it. Well, no more. I am realizing more and more each day that its Only Me. Only I can get up in the morning and chose what I do. No one else is driving me to Dunkin Donuts or Chick-fil-a. I am. No one else is snacking when I am not hungry. Or making excuses to why I can't exercise. Only Me! And only I can chose to break bad habits and form new ones. Like eating right, and blogging. And putting my emotions into a separate outlet, one that doesn't include calories!

Thanks for listening! 

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy 

*Sexy or Bust*

Day 43: I love dresses!

Today I went to Ross. (Did your heart skip a beat like mine did?) Ha! Ross is an awesome store! They are having a big dress sale and all the dresses from last season were pretty much on clearance. (There goes my heart skipping again!). I looked at a few on the regular racks but I found myself drawn to the sale rack. I am so glad I did!!! I found 2 dresses...1 was $1.99. I just knew there had to be something wrong with it---but there wasn't! So I figured that meant it would be too tight (even though it was my size), but I put it in my cart anyway. Then as I searched some more my eyes caught glimpse of $0.99. I was sure it was a mistake. I pulled it out and it was a size 14W. Which is NOT my size. But upon further examination I thought "Hey, it could fit...and if it doesn't, then it will soon!" I mean, $0.99!! I can't pass that up!

I was beyond excited but not wanting to get my hopes up, I scurried over to the dressing rooms. I put on the 1st dress. The $1.99 one. I was thrilled! Here is my $1.99 dress:

I am pretty pleased :) It is a teeny tiny bit snug, but by the time the weather warms up its going to fit great!!! The MFR on the dress above is $89.00!!! What a deal! So then I put on the $0.99 dress on. I doubted my luck would run twice. Especially since it was a 14. But again, I was taken a back. IT FIT!!! NICELY!!!

This one came out a bit fuzzy...and some how I hit B&W when I took it... But a great dress! The MFR was for $49.00, another great deal! While I was there I did try on a 3rd dress (it wasn't on sale though). I took a picture and I love love love it, but I just don't have anywhere to where it...(seems too sexy for church or work):

So I put it back, but it still felt great and I thought I looked pretty sexy and curvy in it. (Ignore my face puhlease!)

All in all, a great day! I love that I am feeling better about my size.

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 42: The Biggest Loser made me cry (again!)

I was able to catch up on The Biggest Loser today (I missed last week's episode since we were out of town...) I love that show, even though it makes me feel so emotional. I cry consistently during every episode. Without fail. You may ask, why watch something that makes you cry? And I can only answer in this way: why not? I am okay with being in touch with my emotions. And the issues at hand, make me cry.

The contestants do not only battle their weight, but they battle numerous other obstacles. Some are parents that are not only struggling with their weight, but with their kids' weight. Either they passed their weight issues to their children or they are trying their best not too pass along bad habits. Which I can completely understand. I do not want my daughter (or any future children) to fight the fat. I want to instill in her great eating habits and I want for her to be physically active (dance, sports, etc). I do not want to be an overly obsessed weight monger, but I do want to keep an eye on her. I think she is perfect as is, but I am trying to learn ways to incorporate more veggies. She eats whole wheat, fruits, almonds, yogurts, and various other healthy snacks. But getting the veggies in has been tricky.

Another issue the contestants are dealing with is the loss of dreams, and/or the shame that comes with it. There are quite a few former athletes (Olympics and Olympic hopefuls) who gained tremendous weight. They feel ashamed when looking back at where they once were, and how they let themselves go. I, although not an Olympic athlete, find myself feeling the same. I was on a dance team, at one point a co-captain! I competed Nationally...and won. I hate thinking about how I let that go, and how by not staying active I allowed the weight to creep up on me.

Finally another issue they deal with constantly is the fact that they are away from their loved ones. Now, granted I am not alone, nor on a fitness ranch, but I definitely feel the distance. I am trying to use the time in between visits wisely. I want to be able to come home to SC and have my loved ones notice my hard work...

I could probably go on and on about how I relate to the contestants, but I will stop there. I hope everyone is having a great week, and if you are reading this please take the time to take the poll on the top right!


-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 41: No hesitation

I have been working my butt off these past few days, so my blogging has been scarce. I wish I was really working my butt off...LOL. Slowly but surely. I am proud to report that after working about 29 hours in 3 days (including a 12 hours shift yesterday), my feet do not throb and hurt like they have been. I think its a combination of my old lady shoes and the ibuprofen I have been taking in the mornings before work. Either way, it makes things a lot more bearable.

I think I have begun to become more confident. Maybe it has to do with the compliments I received from when I went home about noticeable weight loss or maybe its just that since I am eating better I am feeling better about myself. I know I have a ways to go but I am glad that clothes are fitting better and I am seeing my face slim down. (Thankfully!!!)

I was assisting a customer yesterday (a dude) and all of a sudden he started talking in a deep voice. Trying to be like Barry White or someone. I laughed, because well, I don't have a good filter when it comes to laughing...and it was pretty funny. I thought he was just being funny, maybe in a good mood even though his phone was messed up...? I dunno. But, it honestly didn't cross my mind that he was trying to hit on me until he said (in his Barry White voice) , "Uh, Liz, I am trying to kick it to you and uh you are not replying." Again I laughed. I told him I was a happily married lady (while flashing my rock heehee). It was funny, at least I think so...

Today on my lunch break, the security guard asked me if I was enjoying married life. I told him I was. He asked me if I would do it all over again if I could. I said "I sure would!" The guard nodded his head and continued to tell me that he likes to ask married people that question, to kind of get a poll...(which I thought was weird). He told me that I was the only person he's asked that ever replied with no hesitation. That most people he ask, pause and think about it. That is really sad....but I digress (I know it has nothing to do with weight loss but I had to share it.


So, we are hoping to come home to SC for Easter. That is a little less than 2 months away. I am going to step things into high gear and try to lose some serious el-bees. (lbs). I am not going to go crazy restrictive or anything. I am just gonna calculate EVERYTHING, drink more H20, and exercise a lot more. In 4 weeks I lost 13lbs, so I hope to lose about 15 more in the next 2 months. I am not going to kill myself if I don't, but it is something to strive for. I have a cute dress I never got to wear last summer, and I would love to be able to fit into it for the Easter.

Here we go!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 39: Pushy pushy!

A few things happened today. I went to Ross before work (I needed a bit of retail therapy!). I found a new purse (Kathy Van Zeeland) and some new shoes. I wish I could say the shoes were some fancy stilettos or some cute sandals....but unfortunately they were not. They were however a pair of Easy Spirit black dress shoes. Sadly, they were kind of old lady looking but they are super comfortable. After a full day's work my feet don't hurt nearly as much. Since I am not trying to impress people at work, I don't really care! I will wear my old lady-esque shoes and let my feet feel better.

After Ross, I stopped in at Subway to grab a quick sub. We haven't really done groceries since we went away for a few days. I ordered a 6-inch turkey on wheat. The lady behind the counter asked if I would like the 12-inch. I shook my head and said, "No thanks. Just the 6." The lady looked at me like I was crazy, "But the 12-inch is only $5!". Again, I shook my head and said, "Just the 6." After I told her all the veggies I wanted and ordered light vinegar and oil, she surprisingly looked at me and said, "No Mayo?!" UGH!!! NO I DO NOT WANT MAYO AND I DO NOT WANT A FOOTLONG SUB!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do people try to force the bad on you? I know that in some respects, the worker was just trying to be helpful, but when she kept acting like I was crazy for my choices I got irritated. Either way, I ate my sub and felt good about my choices.

I have a new found drive to start with the exercise again. Especially if these shoes help my hurting feet!!!

Hope your weekend finds you well! I work all day tomorrow (12 hours!), so I may or may not get to blog.

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 37: We fall down....we get up!

Okay, so not only is that a favorite church song of mine, it also describes the last few days. I wouldn't say I did horrible, but I definitely didn't stick to plan. The past few days I had to go to SC for a funeral for my great uncle (my dad's uncle). It was a spur of the moment trip and a quick one. I didn't really have many healthy options at my disposal. I did eat a bit of fast food and some good southern food. I kept my portions in check, even though I didn't count points. I want to say my biggest fall was today. The trip home Eight hours on the road equals snackage maximus. I snacked on Bugles and Hot Tamales. And when we got home instead of popping in a SmartOnes, we ordered chinese.

Yikes. I fell off the wagon with a small thud. In the morning I am going to start fresh and new. I hope its not hard and that I didn't throw myself off too much. Luckily, I have a few days before weigh in. I am going to step it up with some exercise along with my WW meal plans.

Its been an emotional few days and I do not feel guilty. I am excited to get back into things. I know I can do it!!!! I will also try to get into some fun topics in the next few days. Other than that I am going to bed. Night!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 34:Quick Post

I am working today then traveling home to SC for a funeral. I wanted to go ahead and weigh myself this morning since I won't be home again till Wednesday night. I am happy to report I am down another 2lbs for a total of 13lbs lost. Yay! Soon I will be at my 1st mini goal and I can treat myself to Zumba!!!

I am going to try my hardest to eat "right" while I am away. It won't be easy but I will try to make the best choices possible.

I will attempt to write while I am away, but no promises. Until next time!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy

*Sexy or Bust*

Day 32: Ramblings

A few things crossed my mind today as I worked. (And yes, I do mean things other than how much my feet hurt!) The first thing that came to mind was that a lot of the ladies at work were wearing dresses today. And a few had on tall boots. That got me thinking of my tall boots and how I have big calves. I have pretty much always had big calves. But I started wondering if there is any exercise to trim calves down? Wait, don't say it...running, right? Yea I figured....

The 2nd thing that crossed my mind was that I can't wait to wear dresses without looking pregnant. I mean obviously I am not pregnant (sorry to those who are waiting for that moment...) But when I wear dresses I feel like my stomach protrudes more than in pants. Thus giving the with child illusion... It happens when I wear pants too, but I am able to hide it more. As I got ready for work today I looked in the mirror. And from the front view, I am happy. I have curves, I have a waist, I have boobs. Then, I turn sideways. Ewww. I blame part of that on the fact that my child was breech my entire pregnancy and that her head was on the right side of my belly button. I feel like its extra stretched out there... The rest, of course is my fault (the eating wrong and not exercising). One day I will love my front and side view!

Lastly, today I thought about how I hate those darn Girl Scouts and their deliciously delightful cookies. My 2 favorites are the thin mints and the lemonades. And of course, this is GSC season :( I saw 4 boxes of the thin mints sitting on a managers desk at work. I started drooling. I love those darn things...but I know that I can't buy any. Because I just don't trust my self control yet. They are a definite weakness. I also read on a facebook page that it takes a heck of a lot of work to burn off the calories consumed by eating just a few of the cookies...Yikes!

Well, thos are my ramblings for the day. As far as food goes, I have been doing pretty good. I made more of my vegetarian black bean soup and it was even better this time! MMMMMMM.
I hope everyone is enjoying the weather and that you all have a wonderful Saturday. I will be at work tomorrow *Le sigh*. Until tomorrow!

PS my husby just whistled at me as he walked by (confidence booster!) and he said my face is thinning out. Wahooooo!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*

Day 31: Results!

I have been thinking about a few things. There are things in life that we can't always help, or change. For instance, I can't sing. And I am tone deaf for the most part. I can't really fix that, can I? I can't help who my family is, or who they become (for the most part....) These are just a couple of things that I really can't change.

Do you know what I can help? My health. My weight. My appearance. And this month, I have learned that doing so doesn't have to be an agonizing journey. I do not have to be starving myself daily or find myself feeling guilty for a slip up or binge! The combination of work and WW has kept my mind off of eating. (As in, eating for no reason other than being bored.) I am content with my food as I sit in the break room amongst junk food.

Oh, and let me add a side note...today for lunch I had the Smart Ones Spinach and Ricotta Pasta. I added leftover grilled chicken strips from last night. It was so delicious!!! It felt gourmet!

Okay, okay I digress!

I also have a bit of exciting news to share. Well, I find it exciting. Last night my husby said something to me as I walked by him in the kitchen. He told me he could really tell I was losing weight. Those words meant a lot to me. People who haven't seen me in a while, may be able to tell a size difference more easily. My husband sees me everyday. For him to tell me he can tell, made me so excited and fueled the fire I have to keep going!

To Results!!!!!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy of Bust*

Day 30: I love my booty

There is a plus size clothing store here in Waldorf called Torrid. They actually have trendy and sexy plus size clothes. The only thing, is that they are a little more than I care to spend on my clothes (even the clearance). I have bought a few pairs of jeans from there and they do make my curves look great.

A couple of months ago they had a shirt in the window display that said "I love my booty"
I think its pretty cute and I definitely love my booty. But seriously, this is just a regular tshirt with a cute phrase, and it cost $28. I mean, call me cheap but I can't spend that on a tshirt. A real top? Yes. Not a tshirt. So, since its been a few months I thought I would check and see if its on sale or clearance....and no such luck. Still $28. *Le Sigh* Alas, even though I love my booty, the advertising will have to stay on the rack at the store (and not mine....LOL had to...)

Anyways, I also wanted to say that I am feeling pretty good about this blogging. I think it is really helping me on my journey. I feel accountable in a way I never have before. I want to do good for myself, my family, and for all of my readers. I am also pretty proud of myself for sticking with the blogging in general. I tend to get excited about something and then let that excitement fizzle after a while. But after 30 days, I am still with it and it is working (along with WW).

So I want to thank you all for all the comments and encouragement. It is definitely helping.

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy of Bust*

Day 29: Emotional

I wonder about something...do only people who struggle with their weight, find themselves in tears when they watch weight loss stories? I was watching The Biggest Loser, and I find myself in tears every single week. I know it is because of my own struggle with my weight. But I wonder if thin people, who have never really deal with losing more than 10lbs or so, find it as heart wrenching?

I literally sob. When the contestant overcomes a challenge or loses a big number on the scales, and they cry--I cry. In the past 2 episodes, a few of the girls have made it down to what they call "One-derland". Let me tell you, I cannot wait until I can join the One-derland Club. They call it that, because their weight loss has put them under 200lbs on the scales. Now, I know I have not said my exact weight on my blog. And that is for a reason. Its embarrassing. And while I am brave enough to tell you my size, I just can't face those numbers. I will say that I have not been under 200lbs since before I was pregnant with my daughter (who is now 3). I got close in 2009 when I was on JC. I got down to 207lbs.

What is crazy to me is that I can drop a lot of pounds and still only move down one size, at the most 2. So, that is another reason I am not going to divulge my weight until later. It will make more of a difference when my size goes down a lot. I am not even sure if this paragraph makes sense.

All in all, it is going to be an emotional day when I can post on here that I have made it to One-derland. Hoping by the summer, mainly by my anniversary in August, that I can successfully say I am in One-derland.

Thanks for listening! Share me!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy

*Sexy or Bust*

Day 28: Happy Valentines Day!

I hope everyone has had a great day, whether or not they are in a relationship! My day started out a bit shaky ( I had a weird hostage situation dream that shook me to the core) Thankfully my alarm snapped me out of it. After waking up and getting Bella off to daycare I remembered it was the big day....weigh in day. (I think I officially changed it to Mondays). I was sure I would be up a pound or two. I closed my eyes as I stepped on the scale. When I looked down, I could barely believe my eyes. I was down another 0.8lbs....Making my 3 week total to equal 11lbs. I am more than happy with that after the week I had.

Today I did not do too bad, aside from the chocolate and cake I had lol. But its all in the name of love. I felt pretty today and happy, and I had great surprises from my love including a work flower delivery! Tonight's blog is short and sweet...May everyone have a great night and I will see you tomorrow! God Bless.

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy

*Sexy or Bust*

Day 27: Back to blogging

The past few days have been hellish. Crazy work hours and constant standing equated to a very tired and miserable me. So I decided not to try and blog through it all or I fear I may have been full of nothing but "woe is me" and pity parties.

My feet still hurt and I am on the search for a good pair of shoes. I thought my Crocs would do it, but unfortunately even on Crocs (paired with Dr. Scholls) my feet still hurt. I know that 3 things need to happen in order to get past the hurting feet...1. better shoes (and note, they have to be dress shoes, not clogs or sneakers) 2. I need to lose weight. Obviously on my small feet, my size puts an extreme strain on them. Once I get down a significant amount, the hurting will subside some. and 3. I think I will eventually get used to it.

Another thing, I am going to weigh in tomorrow but I don't expect good results. Its been a tough last half of the week and I didn't even begin to count points. If I am up a pound or two I will not freak out. I just know that I definitely am not ready to face the world without WW as a tool.

Some good news? I was told by a few of my coworkers that I look 21. :) That's awesome in my book. Almost 7 years younger than my real age! I also got called Princess several times and plenty of other compliments on my smile (and this is by the supposedly angry customers with tech problems lol.) It felt good.

I also bought 3 really great bras, and they gave me just the pick me up I needed. Literally. My new bras lift me up and create a thinner waist line! Love it.

Speaking of love....tomorrow is Valentines Day and I hope everyone celebrates, even the single! There is no reason single people shouldn't celebrate themselves! I mean if you don't love you, who will? So get that massage, or manicure. Watch a movie and drink a glass of wine! I am going to be spending it with my husband and our 3 yr old. I can't wait :) (after a full day of work of course).

And after tomorrow, I am going to be super strict with my point counting. And yes, I said after tomorrow because I think on Vday everyone deserves a little slack!

PS: more pants fitting better!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy

*Sexy or Bust*

Day 23: Sweet and Jolly

So, last night I was unable to blog and after tonight it may be a few days before I can really sit down (without falling asleep) and blog. Tomorrow is iPhone Launch day at Verizon. We expect madness and pandemonium. It also means getting up extra early for work and working a split shift. (Opening and closing in one day) and then I will be closing on Friday (10pm) only to open on Saturday (6:30am). I am gonna be exhausted.

One good thing, is for our hard work and efforts, the company is providing us with lunches for the next few days. And yes, I decided I am going to partake in them. Tomorrow is sandwiches from Honeybaked Ham. I ordered the Turkey. Friday is Chick-fil-a and I ordered the Grilled Wrap with Low Fat Honey Mustard. And I think Saturday is a BBQ/Rib place called Famous Daves. Now, there isn't many healthy options for me to chose from (I mean they call it the Piglet meal LOL) but I am going to make sure to calculate everything into my points.

Oh and for those who don't know, I work for a company that provides Tech Support for VZW, well a sales rep from VZW (who is extremely sweet) said the other day to another coworker that she liked me (platonic-like, so get your minds out the guttah!) and that I was (and I quote) "sweet and jolly". She had to say jolly right???? I equate jolly with fat. Haha, I mean Santa is Jolly right? and what else? That's right...fat. hahaha. I crack myself up. Now I know the poor sweet lady didn't intend to call me fat because she later added that I was "always smiling and happy" but still.

Now, today I was also complimented on my appearance. A coworker said that I dress really nice and always have something well put together. In my mind I added "for a fat girl" on the end of that, but looking back I don't think that is what was intended. I think its just a defense mechanism I need to get over.... But all in all, I will gladly be the sweet, jolly, well dressed coworker. :)

Hope to talk to you all again soon. Pray for me tomorrow because I am sure my feet will hurt!

-with much hope and a lot of prayer

Lizzy
*Sexy or Bust*